THE PROBLEM WITH KIDS

There are many factors contributing to kids' "going wrong."  Peer pressure is undoubtedly one, and the "traditional" rebellion of the younger generation against the values of the older is probably another.  But I think there might be another major culprit, one that doesn't get discussed much, because it's—well—us.  Yes, we the parents!

Our kids look to us for guidance from the time they're infants.  They trust us to know the "right" way to do things, and they learn by our example.  Are we parents always ideal role models, the pillars of virtue which we want our children to emulate?

Years ago it was common to be taught that if something was "wrong," you just didn't do it, plain and simple!  It didn't matter whether or not someone was likely to find out about it and punish you; wrong was wrong, and a thing called "conscience" had a strong influence.  You followed the rules, and you didn't do things that were wrong simply BECAUSE they were wrong.  (Oh yes, you might have tried trivial stuff, but nothing that would have caused serious grief to anyone. Or if you did, you felt miserably guilty about it!)

Nowadays, we may tell our own children the same things, but the examples we set are something else again.  Parents who think kids don't get the real message when they use a "Fuzz-Buster" to defy speed laws, brag about cheating on a college exam, cross the street against the light, pad an insurance claim, or snicker about a few "extra" tax deductions, are kidding themselves.  And how about parents who have the gall to lie about a child's age in order to get the "children's" rate on a bus fare or a movie ticket?  The bus driver or the ticket seller might be fooled, but not Junior!

We can teach our children standards of "right" and "wrong;" and we can tell them over and over that they must not do things which are wrong.  (If we're so inclined, even threats of hellfire and damnation can be used.)  But if our actions tell them instead that it's okay for people to do whatever they like as long as they don't get caught, guess what they're going to believe!

What's wrong with kids nowadays?  If we're honest about identifying the most powerful influence on them, we can stop looking for scapegoats and gaze into the nearest mirror.  What's the solution?  You figure it out!

=SAJ=